"What You Want Isn't What You Need" (1)

[Post No. 4]

Story #3:

Hello~! Introducing another story into this space~ hehehe! this is another story that I'll be posting up from time to time under the "episodic stories" category! :) Another set of characters and all. Hope you will all enjoy it... I'm just experimenting with a lot of situational settings and scenes inside my head, I've been trying to find a story in which I could incorporate these scenes into. HEH! Anyways...

Written in two different perspectives, as it's through the POVs of two different characters :) Male POVs mind you, so I might not be even good at portraying them. *snickers* this is funny, I find it quite challenging but darn, they might end up sounding like little faggoty boys. HAHAHA. On second thought, I might do the normal way of narrating a story too... heh! let's not get too ambitious now :p

A short on how life can be one big wheel of Karma.

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PART I - "What You Want Isn't What You Need"

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My eyes were transfixed on the contours of her body, she was working that machine like a soulja! She bent down a little to get the straying hairs from her face and clumped them in a bunch and started to neatly tie them with her scrunchy; I couldn't contain the smile that was about to crack as I caught sight of her jibblies. Trying not to be an apparent pervert about it, I looked away and walked towards the treadmill. The gym was a great way of finding fit women or women that are about to get fit. There's really nothing like a woman who cares about her body and having the need to want to get into shape. A part of me thinks that, that's why I try to be nice to everyone of the women in the gym, even if they're a little on the heavy side, a few months in the gym? They would look pretty good in no time!

Thing is, aside from my calculative means of associating myself with women, I was always brought up to be nice to those around me; young or old, big or small, I was told to never take them for granted because only the best can come out of sincerely loving them or even just to be friends with them. Why was I taught of such values? Well, my mother's been the only person in my life that I had, to look up to for guidance; growing up, my father was no doubt there for my mother and I physically, but mentally? He was absent; I don't blame him though, he has Vascular Dementia. So I never really got the father figure I should have gotten.

One thing I learned and from years of observing during my years of growing up to be who I was today; is that my mother never stopped loving my father, ever, nor did she complain about having to take care of the man who barely gave her a smile or spoke a word to her; there were times when she looked like she was about to breakdown, but I found that she would give herself a breather and looked into a little red book she kept in the drawers of the night stand-- Afterwards, there was a twinkle in her eyes again and she would hug me all too randomly.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Chris, I can't... stop it." she whimpered her voice wavering a little.

"Come on... it's been 6 months." he replied, pressing her against the wall, "you're going to make me wait again baby?"

"I don't think I'm ready, not yet..." she said quietly looking down at her hands, she fiddled with her fingers and felt his breath on her neck.

"Please." he said pleadingly, tracing soft hot kisses on her neck, "I want to know if you love me."

She gasped a little at his words, "I-I do, of course I love you."

He stopped kissing her neck and smiled from ear to ear, he tilted her head upwards and looked into her eyes. "then show me?"

I slowly watched the expression on her face and then like a sweet angel she began to untie the ribbon on her neckline. I held my breath in anticipation and took a step backward to watch her undo the buttons of her top that followed. Suddenly, she bent her head down, still standing near the wall, honest to god, she looked a little scary staying in that position, unmoving; it looked like it came out of a horror movie with her long wavy hair covering her face like that.

"What's wrong?" he asked and was about to reach out to her when she suddenly ran into his arms, hitting hard against his body, he fell back slightly from the impact and she giggled.

"I hope you're ready to have a baby with me in 9months if I get pregnant from this!" she giggled playfully.

Hearing those words my eyes widened in shock which made her laugh even harder from looking at my expression. She pecked me on the cheeks and said, "lets not rush into things." she said and playfully touched the tip of my nose, "okay?" and then she hugged me, I just stood there not really able to come up with an answer-- surprised at the turn of events; she totally killed the mood at the mention of a baby. After a while I began smiling at what just happened. It was a little suspicious that Adele suddenly turned all coy and shy, I had thought it was because we were getting really hot and heavy for a moment there, but even then, it never seemed to phase her before. She was usually carefree and playful and definitely not a shy girl. I just got punked.

I took her hand in mine and as we walked down the road, I lifted her hand and she looked at me smilingly as I gave it a small kiss. A day with her was always filled with surprises.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

There really was nothing quite like a hot shower, after long hours of working out and pushing yourself. I got out of the showers and caught my reflection in the mirror; still gotta work on my arms. I never seemed to be satisfied with myself when it comes to wanting to look good.

"basar tu bui." I heard someone said from beside me.

Wha... what'd he say? I looked up at him and saw him looking at an inappropriate area of my body. I cleared my throat uneasily and just began to dress. I left the gym a few minutes later, changed into a polo shirt, a casual three-quarter pants and put on my favourite cap. I dumped my gym bag into the trunk of my car and drove around town for a bit, quite unsure on how to go about spending the rest of my day. I thought of hanging with the guys to shoot some hoops, but I wasn't really in the mood for basketball. Then I remember someone texting me last night about there being an exhibition of some sort.

"Mmm... might as well check it out, I've nothing else to do anyway."

It turned out to be a consumer fair; nothing really caught my interest so after a while I just stood near some booth that were handing out freebies. I took a cup of some fruity flavored drinks that the woman kept pushing to me for me to sample; I happily obliged - despite not having the intention or need to purchase it in the future whatsoever.

As I stood there slowly sipping on my drinks. I thought I saw a familiar face. She looked a little different, but I am pretty sure it was her. It's been almost 7 years; I observed the face for a little while longer then she tucked her hair behind her ear and there I saw it, her birthmark on the neck. "Si Ninaaaaaa~!" I said aloud, making the girls beside me jump from my little outburst.

I made my way through the see of crowd, being tall had its' advantage, I could still spot her atop a majority of the people's heads around me. Without realising it I bumped into a couple of people, one got really pissed cause I hit his girl-- had to stop a bit and sincerely apologise, which almost made me lose sight of Nina.

"HEY! Nina!" I exclaimed cause she was getting far from me again.

She turned around abruptly, looking from left to right at the sound of her name. Then she shook her head, probably because she couldn't see anyone she recognised and was about to go off when I shouted again, "Nina! Nina!" and I flailed my arms like a mad person.

She spotted me and squinted her eyes, trying to figure out who I was. I finally caught up to her and she smiled politely.

"Hii~!!" I said excitedly to her.

"Hello!"

"How have you been?"

"Good good and you?"

"I'm great."

"OK." she said, with a forced smile on her face.

Then something finally dawned on me, "you don't have any idea who I am do you...?"

"Hahaha no I don't." she said cheekily and smiled apologetically, "sorry."

I smiled, this was really typical of Nina. After explaining to her that we were childhood friends who were really close neighbours around 7 years ago, the gears in her head slowly worked itself and out of nowhere she hugged me.

"OMG! Dani~ it's you!" she said finally seeing me for the first time, "you look good! You look well."

"Thanks and you... you got chubby!" I joked and poked her puffy cheeks.

She hit my arm so casually, it was as if we hadn't even been apart those 7 years, "Baie eh! Nice going. You comment on a girl's weight after not seeing her for a long time."

"You know it's all out of love."

"You haven't changed one bit," she said sticking out her tongue to me like a little child, "you still have to beat girls with a stick eh? Cause there's one that's been eyeballing you since we started talking to each other."

I briefly scanned the place and couldn't see what she was referring to, so I just shrugged it off and cockily said, "of course, what's there not to like about Dani, like really? Bukan ku kambang ah."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. After that we just talked and checked out the rest of the Consumer Fair together, it was great catching up with an old friend and exchanging stories about our past while the other was absent. Even better when there wasn't any awkwardness between us; makes you know who your real friends are.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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The next episode of this would be revealed in a week or two perhaps? hehehe... I would need feedback on how readers find this story. So then I would know the direction of how I would take this story :)

Please comment and/or bookmark this page if you found it even remotely interesting! Thanks.

Might have grammatical errors, nobody's perfect~! HEEHEE :D

"Defining Moments" (2)

[Post No. 3]

Story #2:

Good day~! Back again with the second part of the story~ I think I might stop here for now... LOL. took me a while to feel inspired to write the continuation to be honest. My english and grammar and sentence construction is all over the place. I feel so ashamed~! D: OHHH WELL~

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PART II - "Defining Moments"

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"Malique was actually intended for me." I began and saw Sam's eyes lighting up with piqued and renewed interest, he leaned in closer at the mention of something potentially scandalous. "I met him on such weird circumstances, it was so comical I don't think I could ever forget that day, you see, it all happened back when we were in high school." I started to say then both me and Nadia grinned at the mention of our old high school days; those were the days~ we were more carefree and full of life-- now we're just pretty much maturing up and becoming more dull.


The day it happened seemed all too vivid inside my head and since I have quite an awesome imagination, the images of that particular day began to dance like a movie in my head, so as I recounted the tale the scene just played itself out right before my very eyes...

It was a little over 3 years ago; I was in high school, 2 of my friends and I were playing truant right before lunch break commenced, after months of experience in this subject of skipping classes, we found that security at school was more relaxed at this hour. For whatever reason? We haven't quite figured that one out yet. So there we were, acting like a bunch of ninja assassins with a full blown mission; as we sneaked out across the grassy hills behind the school, I was feeling nervous again, I always felt nervous whenever we did this, despite having done this for quite a handful of times, but nonetheless, we were determined to see this through.

I trailed behind my two friends a little, my heart racing as we got closer and closer toward the exit. We all scurried under the tree - the last obstacle to overcome before we were on the other side of the school gates, we kept watching our backs while we were at it. So far so good...

I grabbed onto the tree branch first-- yep, still sturdy and the two waited their turns to climb until the other got higher up to make room for the next person.... we had to climb the tree to get over the walls of the gate. I was the first to reach the top of the gate, slightly out of breath and sweaty, I dangled my feet on the other side of the wall, I looked down, that was a good 5 feet, I was in the middle of embracing myself to jump off to the ground on the other side of the wall when all of a sudden my friend at the bottom shouted for everyone to scramble and run!!

Panicked I made a hasty jump, without having made precautions to ensure that my jump would be cushioned by going down slowly and softly, but I did no such thing to soften the impact of landing hard on the ground, the minute I landed I felt my ankle give way; I whimpered and winced in pain, but ignored it; I shouldn't get caught I can't afford to get caught! so I just hobbled away feebly trying to be on the nearest pathway that would lead out of the school's compound.

Then I heard a sound behind me, it was a Prefect. I spotted his stupid badge glistening under the shining rays of the sun. He was looking for me, oh what the heck? Why is he running after meeee~ I almost cried out of frustration but then I stopped short and watched him climb and swiftly jump down from the gate in one fast smooth motion. I found myself staring at him in awe. His hair was still perfectly coiffed even as he walked briskly towards me! Wow... He's kinda cute.

Sammy's voice interrupted my imagination, "Wait hold up, hold up~ I just have to ask; were you a bad girl back in high school?"

Nadia giggled at that question and said, "ohhh~ you wouldn't believe half the stuff this girl's done!"

Sammy looked at me with a slight perplexed and questioning look on his face. Ahh, another person falls victim to having their perspective of me totally disfigured. It's been like that for most of my life; people keep thinking and assuming I'm a nice, dorky girl who does pretty average things, day in and day out. Honestly, I won't deny that I am all of those things, but I also have another side to me that not a lot of people know about. I grinned at Sam and flipped my hair. Anyways, back to my story.

Back to the guy with the still perfectly coiffed hair despite all the jumping and chasing? Yeah him, that was going to be my boyfriend. But then that's another story... So there I was, 10 feet away from the Prefect and he's slowly making his way to come and apprehend me-- I felt like a trapped kitten, without any means of escaping the determined dog -- then out of nowhere, a guy on his bike asks me for directions. He looked nice enough and I don't think I was thinking straight-- my desperate streak got the best of me so instead of answering him, I hopped on his ride and told him to step on it. Or rather I said "Ada org gilaaa lari!"

The guy with his bike, that was Malique. He helped me escape and I ended up talking to him afterwards. He was two years older and was already in college, he was trying to find an office of some sort when he saw me just standing there at the side of the road. He was interesting and cute, most of all he seemed like a totally normal non perverse guy, so I hung out with him till it was the afternoon, that was during extra classes that was when I asked him to send me back to school.

My friends were waiting for me at the waiting bay. Surprised that I was with an older guy. I've always said that I don't like dating older guys nor would I be even remotely interested in older guys, they always had to be my age or at most, a year older. So as I got off his bike and took off the helmet, they all looked at him; we were all probably thinking on how awesome that scene must have looked, like it came out of a teen movie, all to cliche but still totally exciting!

"Oh gosh, who that boy~? Cute jua, siapakan tu?" Malina asked, staring at his leaving form.

"He's okay la, more rugged than cute though, indakan? I think the image he has makes him look cool." Nadia chipped in, then they both looked at me asking me to explain what happened.

"Malique, that's his name."

"Malik?" Malina repeated after.

"Hahaha no, it's Malique... he pronounced it so properly tadi." I answered laughingly, "Eh, so what happened just now? DID YOU SEE THAT CRAZY DUDE? stupid prefectnya ah."

The two of them told me what happened, about how they successfully ran away from the guy so he didn't have proof of who they were since they covered their faces, but they all agreed, it was a bit crazy of him to chase after me like that. It was as if he was some bionic prefect designed to captivate silly teens who played truant. Now as for Malique, they all encouraged me to go after him, since we exchanged numbers and all, it seemed like things might go somewhere between us.

Once the day was almost over, I went alone to get the stuff from my locker, as I was taking my stuff out one by one and into my backpack. I heard a sound beside me, I closed the locker door and saw the guy from before, the coiffed-hair guy. I looked at his (cute) face with annoyance.

"What?" I said rudely, I was usually polite to everyone but since I still felt the pain in my ankle; I really couldn't care less about manners.

"Nice getaway plan." he smiled leaning against the locker lazily and looking straight into my eyes, "I'm Adam."

"And I'm leaving."

"Don't be like that Kamilla." he called after me as I ran way from him, upon hearing him say my name though I turned around and saw him smile at me suggestively, "your name IS Kamilla right?"

I slanted my eyes suspiciously at him, "you're not a stalker now are you?"

"What if I am?" he asked, tilting his head a little with a boyish smile on his face.

Oh gosh, cute! "Okaaaay, creeper alert." I said and left him and I heard him chuckle at my response.

After a while, my heart seemed to be interested in Adam more and more, while Malique was becoming more of a friend and so I introduced Nadia to him and they instantly had hot steaming chemistry between them. Things happen for a reason I suppose. Then I looked at Sammy, half expecting him to say something...

"Adam? My brother's Adam?" he asked referring to the ex boyfriend that we had as a mutual 'friend'.

I nodded and continued by saying, "Funny how if things had worked out for me and Malique; these two wouldnt have become the cutest couple I know. They are so incredibly cheesy and in love, you would think they came out of a hallmark sitcom or something." I said laughingly and Nadia hit me playfully on the arm at my left-handed compliment.

"...and I would have most probably not have been involved in a serious relationship, like ever, if I had given Malique a chance." I continued after a while.

"But hey, at least being with loser has taught you an invaluable lesson... So be thankful it happened." Nadia said, rubbing my arms for a brief moment of consolation.

"Yeah there will always be moments like that. Moments that define how the next chapter of your life would be written out."

Sammy listens silently, his face looking slightly uneasy at the mention of an ex boyfriend... Someone he knows. Thinking it might not be the right time to start remembering about Adam who he seems to be close with, I decided to change the subject.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I could tell she was still in pain. Sometimes, when she really wants to be strong she could. It was like her will wouldn't budge, like a rock she could be so stubborn about keeping something to herself. Everyone knows she shows her feelings, she doesn't hide her emotions from anyone in her life; she would cry when she gets touched by something or sad, show her anger if someone displeases her and laughs whenever she could.

But few know that, when the pain was too much or too unbearable, she just shuts herself down and takes a breather away from the world around her, she actually doesn't even share it with her close friends or family... it seemed like everything about her was a mixture of opposing sides.

I mean everything; from the way she dresses, to her choice in music or books, to the extent of her capabilities and creativity, her choice of friends-- they all differed and somehow it was naturally a part of her like all the others and now apparently her personality too is different in a lot of ways; just found out she's a bit of a bad girl and... Has done things? Questionable, very questionable...

That one day, on the last day of our senior year in college, not too long ago. I saw her crying alone at the back of the auditorium, at first I thought to console her-- maybe lighten up her mood, but then I caught sight of her eyes and her tears... they weren't just tears falling one by one, it literally looked like her eyes were leaking!

It was because news of Adam having a new girlfriend spread around school. Though she had already broken up with her boyfriend during the second half of our freshmen year and it seemed like she had been fine for the months that followed; she even talked to Adam like they were friends again. Everyone suspected that Adam already had someone new, but he waited a year to show it... That guy really was sneaky.

A year later, after all the laughter she shared with us and after the crazy times everyone went through together with, it rendered me speechless to see her like that, after ALL that; she still cried for him like he broke her heart just yesterday. I remember standing there for the longest time, I watched her cry from afar... To me; it felt worst watching her cry in such a pitiful way and not knowing how much pain she must've felt - because that kind of pain was foreign to me, maybe even to a lot of people. I think when a guy sees a girl crying for him like that, he wouldn't want to leave her... Ever. So everytime I see Adam or even hear his name, the image of Kamilla crying pops into my head and I'd feel uneasy and squirmish.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a guy approaching our table and the two girls waved at him enthusiastically, "Sam, this is Malique." Kamilla said and we both shook each other's hands, "Malique, Sam."

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

[text msg from: Chloe Cho ;) ]

Kay! I so need to get out of here!! Jiejie is driving me loco. Shopping? Need to get stuff from Guardian and Euro.

[text msg from: Kamillie Bum]

OF COURSE! I'm always game to shop :D hehehe. Meet you at Euro C's in an hour?

[text msg from: Chloe Cho ;)]

I'll be there! See youuuuuu~!!

I smiled at Chloe's text, she was my cousin on Dad's side, she was my Chinese cousin, Dad was only half Chinese so my relation with her was a bit further down the family tree, but we were still close since we were in Kindie together until our Primary school years. She was like one of my best friends slash relative. We grew up together and we were so close in age and in mannerism that sometimes people thought we were twins.

When I arrived at Euro Classic's it was a little before 11am so the road was starting to get quite packed, people were about to have their lunch-- It was always so crazy during lunch time at Gadong. I on the other hand was on a different mission; I was not really caring about my stomach as I was more excited at the thought of purchasing something cute. Maybe a new notebook or a blinged out keychain or something pink perhaps?

I stepped out of the elevator, walked a few steps and there I was inside the scented colourful shop full of wonderful things that is ready to be gifted. I spotted Chloe right away, her brown hair was tied up in a neat bun and she was looking at some cards on display, but then I saw someone else standing beside her. The minute I recognised who it was, my eyes widened with shock and I felt my lips dry... Why in the world is my luck so bad? The person beside my cousin Chloe was the same person that I saw with Dean the other night.

I cautiously made my way to my cousin, trying hard to put the most sincere smile I could muster up in this really messed up situation. Chloe heard the faint clacks of my heels and greeted me with a warm smile and hug.

"Kay! You're here~" she said happily, bringing me face to face with the girl from that night, "This is my friend back when I was studying in Korea; Kara!"

I gulped and looked at her face up close, she looked prettier than I remembered...

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TO BE CONTINUED...
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The next episode of this would be revealed in.... God knows how long~ hehehe...

Please comment and/or bookmark this page if you found it even remotely interesting! Thanks.

Might have grammatical errors, nobody's perfect~! HEEHEE :D

"Defining Moments" (1)

[Post No. 2]

Story #2:

Hellew! I'm back again with another story; this story is one of the first story under the

episodic stories" category, that I'll be introducing in this blog space. Which means, I'll also have other stories with an entirely different set of characters later on, which might have a few "episodes" before the whole story will be completed. HEEHEE.

Anyways,
I hope the way this story is written won't confuse the readers. I switch between the usual narrator's story-telling method and also at times changing to first-person narratives of different characters. Nyeh~ I can't explain that any better, I'm sure you'll learn quick! XD It's simple :)

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PART I - "Defining Moments"

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A young man in his early twenties steps out of a convenience store and takes a cigarette from the pack he just purchased. For a moment, he stood there, leaning against the brick wall of the store, clad in his dark denim jeans with his tucked out dress shirt, sleeves rolled up; he looked like million dollars with his crisp white striped shirt and his expensive charcoal gray loafers. He shuffles his feet a little, easing himself into a comfier position as he leaned against the wall-- suddenly he takes out a phone from his back pocket and puts it slowly to his ear.

Just around the corner, a girl in her late teens, peeks over at the young man from afar. She bites her lip contemplatively, she had hoped he would walk away just as soon as he got out of the convenience store, but instead when she saw that he was just standing there, inconveniently getting in the way of the path she would like to take -- she was thankful of the slight delay earlier on. She took in a breath of fresh air to calm herself, but almost coughed aloud from inhaling the smoke that came from his cigarette bud, but she stopped herself short, hands flying onto her mouth as she clamped it shut to muffle the sound, she did not want Dean to know she was there. Oh what the hell Kamilla, just pass by and say hello if he sees you, she thought to herself.

She saw movement from where he stood from the corner of her eye, she took a quick peek and saw that he was taking out his phone. She hesitantly took a step forward-- glad that he was a little distracted enough to not pay attention to her is she were to pass by, but then she saw him talking happily on the phone, she stopped mid-step and felt her heart ache for a split second. Even if it was just a momentary fraction of time, the ache that stabbed her heart was painstaking. It must be that girl again, she thought with furrowed eyebrows, she turned around to cross the road, so she decided to leave and head the other way instead. The minute she turned and walked a few steps away from him, the guy slowly put the phone away from his ear and looked at her back walking away from him.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I looked down on my phone; the screen was blank. Yeah, wow I just faked a phone call. I was confused as to why I did that; I was either being stupid or just... stupid. No other explanation for it. Almost immediately after, I was beginning to regretting acting the way I did; somehow whenever she's around, I seem to do things that would make her want to avoid me or I try not to notice she's there even when I fully know that she is. Not sure when I began acting in such a way, it was not always like this, but the more I got to know her, the more I find myself acting strangely. So as I watched her heading the opposite direction from where I stood; I was more regretful than relieved. I looked at her leaving form, her shoulders slightly drooped and her step lacked the spring it used to have. That somehow made my stomach churn a little...

Kamilla was a few years younger than I was, she was tall as she was fair; her skin was that of a glowing ivory. I met her a few months back when she waited tables at the restaurant that her father owns during her school break. At first I frequent the place because of the good food, but after a while, I kept on going there because it seemed like she was attracted to me and I found that really flattering; she would greet me with a smile and whenever the place was not packed she would exchange small talk with me if an opportunity to do so presented itself. It was great to just be at the receiving end of her smiles-- much like an instant boost of confidence.

I look down at the cigarette neatly tucked between my index finger and middle finger - the wispy smoke slowly mixing into the air, I pressed the tip of it against the brick wall and threw it carelessly into the bin nearby. Shaking my head, I thought nothing of it and made my way to the car park.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

He gets into a car, revs the engine and drives out to a cafe just down the road. Dean took a quick glance at his Breitling watch and scanned the coffee place, finally he locks his gaze onto a stunning beauty. As if sensing his presence the girl looked up at him, her face beaming up at the sight of him, she stood up and walked hurriedly into his arms. He grins as he hugged her back, and inwardly smiling to himself at the pleasant familiarity of her petite frame against his body.

She grabbed his right arm in her delicate hands and gave it a slight squeeze, "You seem to be losing weight from the last time we've met." she commented showing signs of concern through her cocked eyebrow.

"I guess I've just been too busy with things to care about how I look Kara." he retorted laughingly.

She smiled flirtatiously and said, "you can never look awful even if you tried." turning around she pulled his hand, they made their way to the seat she vacated a few moments ago.

Time passed by so fast, but toward the end of it, he could not shake off the feeling that his heart feels somewhat unsettled, he kept looking over his shoulder half expecting something to happen. Kara couldn't help but notice that he was getting slightly distracted as well which made her a little uneasy: Dean always paid full attention to whoever he was with, because that was the kind of gentleman he was-- more so towards girls; especially if that girl was her. She slowly reached out her hand to his fingers placed on the side of the iced latte he ordered.

The touch of her skin against his reverted his attention back to Kara, "I've really missed you." she told him, as she smiled into his eyes.

"I missed you too" he said almost out of habit but he knew he meant it. "how's this place for you?"

A bit taken aback by his changing the atmosphere with a casual question, she pulled her hand away and leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, "It's certainly different from Korea." she began.

"night life?" he chuckled knowingly.

She joined in on the humor "yeah, pretty much." glad that the atmosphere was lightening up again, "but I'm giving it a chance, it's your birthplace after all."

His heart gave a small leap at that comment. She actually cares now, finally...

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Meanwhile, Kamilla was fiddling with her phone, hanging around the steps of the Mall's theatre. Looking through his messages and all the while telling herself, she cannot keep any of this. It wasn't right for her to feel this way; to feel anything. A distraction, that's what I was-- a form of cheap entertainment; clearly just for his little gameplay of amusement. I should shave his stupid eyebrows and glue them back as a moustache. Fuxking minx for making me feel like this. That guy is worst than a chick.

She got lost in her thoughts after quietly mouthing him off in her head, all because he's making her feel like a young teeny bopper who was naive about love; at nineteen she really shouldn't feel like this anymore.... or so she thought. After a while she began staring into space, quietly listening to the slow breaths she was taking in.

Her phone vibrated in her hands; her first thought was of Dean. She winced in disgust at herself for thinking it. She looked at the caller ID; "Sammy D:" instead of a "Dean :D" , disappointed she answered the call.

"Hey..." she answered in a flat, lifeless tone.

"Ahh, hey? You alright? Did I wake you?" came a guy's questioning voice form the other end.

"oh yea yea" she continued in her flat tone, when realising that could have been the reason for the question, she forced herself to perk up, "yes! I'm fine."

"So I got a preposition; the guys ditched me, so do you wanna hang out with me?" He answered back, ignoring the forced cheerfulness in her voice.

She sighed, "Ahh of course I'm the designated-last-resort-friend who everyone overlooks until they're bored or alone and have no one else to play with~" crap, that sounded mean. Knowing full well she needs to lighten up her mood from what she saw earlier, she shook her head and lightly hit the side of her head.

"HEEEY NOO, that's not it." he said apologetically, realising what he said was a tad offensive, "I just thought I should waste my time first before I have something better to do." that sounds even worst, apakan aku ani... let's hope she doesn't notice. He waits for her response.

For a good 3 seconds she kept quiet, thinking he'd apologise for saying that one as well, "ehh anak ani." she said teasingly, "GOD, it's fine, you have a foot in your mouth most of the time anyway. Just stop talking."

He laughed sheepishly "bah, so how?"

"I have to meet up with si Nadia for coffee. Sorry dude."

"who's Nadia? She cute?" He said a little too excitedly, "ikut, can?"

"You wanna come kah? Hahaha oh gosh fine, I'll ask if she minds. Text you in ten minutes if it's a no go or not."

Sammy was always like that, always asking me if I know any cute-pretty girls or if I was willing to match-make him with any of my friends. Truth be told, he is actually the brother of one of my ex boyfriends' best friend. He was always with them, well most of the time-- so I sort of knew who he was from the times that I politely acknowledged his presence if we were hanging out in a big group.

Our relationship was weird; we seemed like we were close but we weren't really; at least not how I would describe being 'close' to someone. So how did we come about being friends? It just happened~ basically we got stuck as being classmates when we enrolled in the same college. Brunei being Brunei, it wasn't really a surprise to not eventually be close to people that you had known of for a long time but never quite talk to. After a while, it happens.

That's just how Brunei is, everyone seems to be related to everyone else, by whatever describable tie, bond or relation there is out there. One day in class, we recognized each other because of that vague relationship tie we had-- him being the brother of my ex boyfriend's best friend. But then again, maybe the reason why I had remembered him was because he's the only person I know who has natural (ash-dirty) blonde hair, despite his features looking somewhat malay; normal-set eyes, not too sharp of a nose and a kind of beige tone to his skin. His mom was full on Dutch and his dad was full on Malay. So yes, that's Sammy. At the beginning of our college years, we exchanged pleasantries then we repeatedly talked to one another casually and somehow throughout those years he began joking with me a lot and voila, friends!

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Hello there!" he said charmingly as he stretched out his hand to Nadia.

"Hi" she said smiling back at him.

"You look nice," he said flattering her, which made Nadia laugh, then she looked at me with a knowing smile, "hope you don't mind I'm here."

"Not at all." Nadia responded politely and she lead the way to a table outside the cafe.

Behind her, I walked beside Sam and nudged his ribs a little, "Take it easy Sammy, she has a boyfriend." I whispered when we all took our seats in the coffee shop.

With that statement, his face looked disappointed and showed me his WTF-face.

Kamilla retorted with her own WTF face and said defensively "What? I never said she was single." she whispered harshly under her breath.

Two mochas and one glass of water later, I looked at the time on my phone: 4:44PM. Seeing those numbers would always give me this foreboding feeling, it wasn't in our culture to believe in that kind of superstition but I guess I picked up one or two superstitious beliefs from the countries I went to, since I grew up in a multi-cultural environment, due to my dad's work that required him to move around a lot.

I looked up from the time and saw that the two of them were already quite comfortable with each other. Sammy was always an easy person to get along with, Nadia on the other hand is pretty much nice to everyone that I know. So I guess it explains their instant chemistry.

"Do you guys mind if Malique joins us? He just woke up hehehe totally jet lagged from his trip." she smiled sweetly after what seemed like she was reading a text from Malique from her phone.

"oh! I haven't met him in a long time! When did he come back?" I said excitedly, at the notion of meeting her boyfriend of almost a year.

"He flew in last night."she said giddily, matching my enthusiasm "we were supposed to meet later tonight, but I guess he feels bored cooped up at home after sleeping the whole day."

"Ha! I bet he just can't wait to spend time with you." I said knowingly, letting out a small sigh, gosh, I miss getting excited at the thought of meeting your boyfriend.

While we were having this conversation between the two of us, I noticed Sammy was just slowly sipping from his ice blended caramel drink, quietly listening to us talking about Malique and the days prior to his return. So I thought of including him in on the conversation by explaining how the two lovebirds met.

He looked disinterested at first, when I offered to tell the story of how they got together, but politely agreed to listen to it anyway. "Malique was actually intended for me." I began and saw Sam's eyes lighting up with piqued and renewed interest, he leaned in closer at the mention of something potentially scandalous.

"Oh? Really?" He asked slyly, raising his eyebrows. We both laughed at his comical reaction and I continued with my story.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

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The next episode of this would be revealed in....

I guess two or three days? Until then! I bid thee adieu~ ;)

So just to make sure everyone's on the right track, this is the list of characters that have been mentioned so far:

Dean, Kamilla, Kara, Sammy, Nadia and Malique.

Please comment and/or bookmark this page if you found it even remotely interesting! Thanks.

Might have grammatical errors, nobody's perfect~! HEEHEE :D

"Fated to fall, fail and still feel"

[Post No.1]

Story #1:

written in a first person narrative. Enjoy! Just a SHORT STORY about love, a bit of a story to help you understand the perspective of love through the eyes of the narrator.

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"FATED TO FALL, FAIL AND STILL FEEL."

If there's one thing that I've kept with me, close to my heart and mind, throughout the years of growing up; it's none other than my hopeful naiveté of finding that one true love. For me, 'love' is important: the four letter word with all its' complexities, that has bitten and befallen each and every one of us-- some have loved, some are being loved, still in love and some will learn to love.

One thing I've learned though, is that during the early years of my life -- my brainwashed perspective of love used to be so simple -- I blame Disney for that; I thought that if you loved someone enough, you'll get through any hinderance and if you sincerely put your heart on your sleeve there's a definite chance your love would be reciprocated. But how true does this statement ring, do you think? Well, it's practically a delightful lie society shoved down my throat.

Then somehow, when I reached the early years of my teen, it was nothing but empty flings one after the other. I suppose that's when everyone's childish tendencies towards love would start. I would get boyfriends like they were no more than toys I purchased off of the stores' shelves. It certainly felt exciting to get the attention of a lot of boys; I think this was the only point of my life where I pretty much belittled the purity of love. I was falling in 'like' for a lot of guys in such short periods of time.

I was insipid, reckless and fickle. Even if a part of me still wish that part of my past had never existed; I find that it helped me differentiate between what was a temporary high and a grounding revelation of real feelings.

The thing about love, is that it can be found at the oddest of places, happens at the most unexpected of times and it can affect even the best of us. It's crazy how out of character you'll become if you've fallen for someone so hard.

I remember when I first had my biggest crush. It really was the most exciting thing for a 12 year old adolescent girl to feel. Constantly trying to catch glimpses of his smile, hoping that one day that cute smile would be directed to you. The first time he talked to me, the first real conversation we had was when he took an interest in my hobby back then - which was poetry writing. There's really nothing more endearing to me when a guy takes the time to notice something personal about you. "you write poems?" three simple words and he got me hooked on him and reeled me in like fresh live bait... JUST LIKE THAT! I shyly showed him some of my collection of poetry.

That's when I began thinking he was the cutest boy in class, noticing when he was there and when he wasn't. I had found him attractive that's for sure, but after that day, it wasn't the same anymore... I was crushing on him so bad that it was dragged on even till my high school years. I really did hold a (although flickering)-- candle for him even during my time in high school, if he would look my way just once more; I'd have gladly left whoever it was my boyfriend back then. After all, I was in fact only with them because they were either good-looking or they had a way with words and sometimes, they were just really into me and were good enough, so why not~?

Although, it was in college, that defining moment of my life when I realised nothing great or profound would come out of anything so short-term and superficial. I stopped being flighty and started being more saintly. I began frowning or making a serious face whenever I walk alone, I avoided talking to a lot of guys and hoped that one day, some of them would still like how I am despite being more 'restrained'; noticing me when I am being unnoticeable...

Had a couple of candidates and none of them struck me as being anything remarkable. All the guys that I talked to were the every day run of the mill type of guys. They were what I have been used to for so long; sweet-talkers who gave in to my every whim and wish, mediocre conversations and short-lived happiness, they seemed like that were just doing it from some book of gameplay-- in other words, it seemed insincere.

So, I remember thinking about all my past relationships with the guys in my life and wondering if any of them ever meant anything. The big question I asked, that no one can seem to answer in a quantitative, easily understandable, logical answer is: "How do you know if he's the one?" That one person that can make all the wrongs seem so right, who -- like in the movies -- would stand by you through anything; come hell or high waters, that one person would still love you unconditionally.

Falling:

Then there he was... the guy who affected me in ways that I couldn't even dream possible. All because he was different. Our story started innocent enough, we met through a mutual friend. It felt like fate gave us a hand in meeting again; because you see, we talked once through the internet, but in the past we were both already in a relationship; we talked briefly once and never again. Yet somehow, the next time we got introduced to one another, we clicked and hit it off instantly!

We just became fast friends that flirted from time to time. What bothered me about him was he seemed to have not fallen for me or seem even remotely attracted... I couldn't read him. It was maddening! Like I found a puzzle that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Honestly, it started out as a conquest, I felt like the demented younger teen in me was showing her little horns, he was like a game I craved to conquer. He wasn't exceptionally good looking, nor was he the kind of guy I would fall head over heels in love with, just by looking at him, he had neither the height nor the skin tone that I preferred. Yet there was something about him; something I wanted to open up and explore for myself. And wouldn't you know it? After a while-- I fell for him, after months of being friends and being flirtatious with each other, I had butterflies for the guy who caught me off guard.

It was like an epiphany, I had known him for months and only NOW did I see him, like REALLY saw the person that he was, I was falling and I didn't even know it. In a drunken sleepy stupor, I confessed in a badly written text message of how I felt. Come the next day, I realised what I had done and could have DIED OF EMBARRASSMENT. As I was a lover of the dramatics, I swore him off completely, which got him in a flurry of panic trying to reach out to me.

Fortunately, he felt the same way but never actually found the right time to say it. Yes, that was how it began with my first, one and only love. We began because of a silly mistake; a miscalculation of action on my part. Him being the first guy that I truly loved and cared for, so naturally I sought out to give him the best of me, he was enough, satisfying and most importantly, he was mine. I did anything and everything for him... Not once did I want anyone else, he was the perfect imperfection that I could live with and the sweet sincerity that I couldn't live without.................. or so I thought.

Failing:

As a couple we had our problems of course, but then... I was blind. I couldn't see that promises were being broken, too hurtful words were being said and inconsiderate actions were being done. I was mistreated, but I didn't see it at the time, because I believed in every single assuring word he softly said in my ear. I believed it every single time when he said I was his future; the only girl in his heart and that other girls had nothing on me.

At first, all I could think of was how I couldn't possibly be without him. I feared of losing him completely to the world around us. I felt him slowly slipping away, he began to act disinterested all too suddenly and all too much. It made me paranoid, fragile and a little hysterical. I stopped being carefree, I began hounding on him like a dog every time we talked; he hated it of course, but his actions show no reason for me to not become the person I had eventually became.

How would you feel if the guy you love, only looked for you when he needed help? He was inconsistently sweet whenever he wanted me to do something or when he was alone and ditched by everyone else around him... I felt offended and used, I knew he only came to me when no one else cared, because I alone would always, always, without a doubt, be there for him... Is it really too much for me to ask the same thing? I just need someone who would make me feel like I'm top priority, despite the distance or the temptation that surrounded us.

Yet, I still thought nothing of it. I shoved those negative thoughts away, maybe I was just imagining things, I made excuses for him to make myself feel better. Pathetic! At times when I vented my frustration out in the open, he would get mad, so I held it in almost to the brink of being broken. Weak! I truly was in denial and too hopeful in thinking that he would revert back to his old self.

What happened to the guy that I fell for? Was he really gone? Didn't he care that he was abandoning me? I started looking for more reasons, stupidly making excuses for something that was clearly failing. I started asking myself questions like; "what did I do?", "what went wrong?", "why is he being this way?".

Yes, this is how it looks when a love fails... But later I learned that the only one to blame is the one who changed, which was him... I stayed faithful and honest, because I saw what could have been if he had only tried hard enough, he would have seen the endless supply of happiness that a girl like me, who loved him so much, could give him. So much for the Disney-like ideals...

It crushed me when the truth got out. I was helpless and weak... I detested him and more than anything I detested myself for letting him be the reason why I began to run my mouth off his shortcomings... I was no better, I know that now.

It's never easy for anyone to have found their love and then losing it to someone else. It's also hard when you try forgetting about them, because it has become a habit for those in love to associate things with their source of happiness, who knew that those same memories of association could turn painfully bitter. It breaks my heart every time I take a whiff of a familiar scent, my throat tightens when I take a familiar road that leads to his place, my heart aches whenever I see traces of our relationship from the places we've been to and to the places we had plan on going to. These are the things, that makes me think that I should stop being a hopeless romantic and stop putting so much thought into love.

A wise man once said to me,

"He took you for granted, because you said you loved him first and you loved him more, so you lost."

That's really disheartening, because it got me thinking, why is there a winner and a loser in all this? Why does it seem like everyone treat love like it's a game? It's like someone pissed in my face when a few agreed to that statement. I thought love wasn't about playing games, whatever happen to prince charming? Why do I even bother... I am so close to calling quits.

Still feeling:

Recently, I've asked myself, time and time again; is love really worth the pain? Honestly, it's courageous of anyone to take the risk, you might either be plunging to your death by baring your soul to another person like that only on the slightest hopeful assumption that he feels the same way OR you could have probably made the best investment of a lifetime; a guy who is, in every way a physical, emotional and spiritual fulfillment that can do nothing but good to your existence.

After all that has happened, I still wish to love. Naïve, stupid or stubborn, I don't know which I am exactly~ Though sometimes, it's best to focus on other things other than your broken heart. For me, I look to a friend to get my mind distracted and when I talk to him even for a bit, I find myself smiling. I don't think it's because I've fallen for him; but I know for sure that he's a great reminder of a guy who can be a man about facing things with a mature air about him. I would want a guy like that one day. Never ever stop wanting to feel in love. One can always take a break... but never ever stop.

Despite everything that has happened, no matter how much it hurts and how long the pain lasts... I'm glad that I can still feel. Maybe one day, I'll find him, the true love of my life, not some cheap knock off, made in China.

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THE END! :)

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I hope that my perspective on love does not offend anyone, it's clearly just my own point of view so it's quite subjective. ehehe... :)

please comment and/or bookmark this page if you found it even remotely interesting! Thanks.

Might have grammatical errors, nobody's perfect~! HEEHEE :D

An introduction

Hi there! :)

Made a blog that's designated for my short stories; the ones I have written, the ones I'm currently writing and ones that I will write. I'm not quite at a level that's satisfyingly awesome, but I try! hehehehe~

please comment and bookmark this page if you even remotely find it interesting! Please and thank you ;D